Duck Dynasty Guns

Duck Dynasty Guns

by Richard Rowe

Racism: Check. Bigotry: Check. Bible-thumping, ignorance promoting, statutory rape enthusiast...ing. Check. Wait, we're still missing something here. What could it be? Oh, that's right...GUNS!!!

Yes, indeed; gun manufacturer Mossberg, well aware of the fact that Koch-steady protest statements work well as a sales tool, has entered into a deal with Duck Dynasty's Duck Commander to introduce a line of full-camo firearms. Mossberg's firearms have featured prominently on Duck Dynasty for some time now, and the show is no stranger to strategic product placement. But this sort of brand alliance is a genuine first for the genre. Mossberg CEO Iver Mossberg had this to say:

[box type="shadow"]Mossberg is extremely proud to partner with Duck Commander to further promote hunting, shooting sports and family values. The Robertsons’ widespread appeal and ability to cross over into the mainstream has bridged millions to the tradition of hunting and sharing time in the field with family.[/box]

Yes...as long as that family is straight, white, and supports the NRA. Read between the lines, and Iver says this: "We know a marketing opportunity when we see one, and ignorant, homophobic, racist rednecks are kind of our home market."

Generally speaking, the firearms are of the sort that most people would use for downing water fowl, so it's not as though Mossberg is just cross-marketing toys to a demographic. The meat of the line are the Mossberg 930, 935 Magnum and international SA-20 shotguns, done up with swamp-brush camo.

Of interesting note, though, is this gem, which might strike the casual observer as a bit...shall we say..."Adam Lanza-y."

No, that's not an AR-15, or even technically a knockoff. If you look carefully at the specs, you'll note that this not-an-AR-15 rifle uses 26 of the standard .22-caliber long rifle (LR) round. This ancient round is far less devastating than the military-spec .223 round used in the AR-15 and M-16. Effectively, it's a target-shooting round appropriate mainly for paper targets and small game.

So, this at least, is a perfect gun, a metaphor, if you will, for Duck Dynasty. Robertson and his crew, supposed long-beard, Bible-thumping rednecks that they are appeal to the toy-store AR-15 in thier target audience. They're deadly conservative, leaders in a crusade against Globalist liberal gun-grabbers.

Reality though...they're nothing but a bunch of paper-target-shooting yuppies, callously and cynically appealing to a bunch of idiots with money, manipulating them into parting with it.

Meet Tea Party: The Series.

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Here's the full line-up of guns, from the NY Daily News. 

Richard Rowe