"Dear Valued Patrons.
Due to my sincerely held religious beliefs, and in light of the
RFRA, recently signed by our Dear Leader Pence, I will no longer be
doing business with the following persons; nor permitting them in my
establishment:
1. Divorcees. Matthew 19:9: “And I say to you: whoever divorces
his wife, except for unchastity, and marries another, commits
adultery.”
2. Anyone who has ever read their horoscope or called a psychic
hotline. Leviticus 20:6: "As for the person who turns to mediums
and to spiritists, to play the harlot after them, I will also set My
face against that person and will cut him off from among his people."
3. Anyone with a tattoo. Leviticus 19:28 "You shall not make any
cuts in your body for the dead nor make any tattoo marks on
yourselves: I am the Lord."
4. Anyone born illegitimately. Also, anyone who, back to ten
generations, is descended from someone born illegitimately. If you
can not PROVE, using appropriate church sources, that ten
generations of your family were born in wedlock, I will have to err
on the side of caution and not serve you. Deuteronomy 23:2 "No one
of illegitimate birth shall enter the assembly of the LORD; none of
his descendants, even to the tenth generation, shall enter the
assembly of the LORD."
5. Anyone who makes a practice of praying aloud, or in public.
Matthew 6:5-6 "When you pray, you are not to be like the
hypocrites; for they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and on
the street corners so that they may be seen by men. Truly I say to
you, they have their reward in full. But you, when you pray, go into
your inner room, close your door and pray to your Father who is in
secret, and your Father who sees what is done in secret will reward
you."
6. Any woman with braided hair or gold jewelry. Just to be on the
safe side, NO jewelry at all. 1 Timothy 2:9 "Likewise, I want women
to adorn themselves with proper clothing, modestly and discreetly,
not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly garments."
7. Any man who has ever, by accident or not, had his genitals
damaged. (Current interpretation of this scripture is under debate,
so just to be safe, if you've had a vesectomy, or testicular cancer,
I can't serve you. I apologize for the inconvenience but I am
worried for my soul.) Deuteronomy 23:1 "A man whose testicles are
crushed or whose penis is cut off may never join the assembly of the
Lord."
8. Please don't bring your kids in if they have a bowl cut.
Leviticus 19:27 reads "You shall not round off the side-growth of
your heads nor harm the edges of your beard."
For those of you complaining that some of these scriptures are from
the Old Testament, and that Jesus came to redeem us from these laws,
I refer you to Matthew 5:17-19, where Our Savior himself says: "Do
not think that I came to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I did not
come to abolish but to fulfill. For truly I say to you, until heaven
and earth pass away, not the smallest letter or stroke shall pass
from the Law until all is accomplished. Whoever then annuls one of
the least of these commandments, and teaches others to do the same,
shall be called least in the kingdom of heaven; but whoever keeps
and teaches them, he shall be called great in the kingdom of heaven"
Again, I am sorry for the inconvenience. It's nothing personal,
"love the sinner but hate the sin," and all, but I simply can't
serve anyone who would blatantly disregard God's sacred law in such
a fashion.
Of course this would never happen. People don't not serve gays because
they find it against God's Law. They do it, by and large, because "teh
[sic] gays are icky." Jesus had dinner with prostitutes and tax
collectors. Get over yourselves.
********************EDITED****
I am a Christian business owner in Indiana
<http://www.dailykos.com/
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