"Lexophile" is a word used to describe those that have a love for words......

"Lexophile" is a word used to describe those that have a love for words, such as "you can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish", or "to write with a broken pencil is pointless."

A competition to see who can come up with the best lexophiles
is held every year in an undisclosed location.
Here are this year's winning submissions:

...When fish are in schools, they sometimes take debate.  
... A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.   
... When the smog lifts in Los Angeles U.C.L.A. 
... The batteries were given out free of charge.   
... A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.   
... A will is a dead giveaway.  
... With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.   
... A boiled egg is hard to beat.  
... When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.   
... Police were summoned to a daycare center where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.   
... Did you hear about the fellow whose entire left side was cut off? He's all right now.   
... A bicycle can't stand alone; it's just two tired.   
... When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.   
... The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine is now fully recovered.   
... He had a photographic memory which was never developed.   
... When she saw her first strands of grey hair she thought she'd dye.   
... Acupuncture is a jab well done. That's the point of it.   

And finally:
 ... Those who get too big for their britches will be totally exposed in the end.