Voices from Solitary: Phantom Souls
by Voices from Solitary
Thirty-one
years ago, George G. Schultz, Jr. was convicted of a double murder in
Phoenix, Arizona. He is serving two life sentences without the
possibility of parole. In 2008, he was transferred from Arizona to
Illinois under the Interstate Corrections Compact. In Illinois, he was
placed in Tamms Supermax Prison, where he was held in solitary
confinement until the prison was closed by the governor in January 2013.
Since that time he has been held in the Pontiac Correctional Center,
where he reports that he is still in isolation. —Hallie Grossman
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Unable
to be perceived by the outside world and sometimes unable to be
perceived by our own selves. We are an estimated 2 million, but the
sound of a pin falling to the ground makes a much louder sound than 4
million teardrops, incessantly falling every second of every hour of
every day for the “phantom souls” that are entombed in their purgatory
state of existence inside correctional facilities across the United
States.
We
are “phantom souls”: the men, women and children incarcerated from all
realms of life. Yes, it can be said that we’ve made mistakes and wrong
choices in our lives’ quest. It can be said that, in more cases than
one, we deserve to be imprisoned, some of us for the rest of our lives.
It can also be said that many of us have disappointed and let down the
people of our own communities, but has it been said that we are human
beings too? Has everyone forgotten that we, too, are your parents,
spouses, children, relatives and friends? Has it been said that we, too,
still bleed and even breathe the very same air as the rest of the world
does? We still bleed! We still breathe! Unfortunately, the world has
immediately forgotten our presence and existence as soon as the iron
gates slam and cell doors close.
That
is why we are “phantom souls,” because no one can even see us or hear
us, and if it were possible to do so, it would be like a bee’s wing
falling onto your shoulder or an eyelash falling on your nose: hardly
detectable. We have no outside effect at all. What we do have in here is
something mentally, emotionally and physically corrosively
debilitating, which none of us convicted felons would ever wish upon
anyone else to ever experience.
As
“phantom souls,” we are trapped in a purgatory state of existence with
Hell’s fire already burning our feet. I’ve been locked in this purgatory
state for over a decade, and I still have not gotten used to this
burning sensation that never ceases, not even in my sleep! Animals in
animal shelters, in a horrid way, are blessed. Because after seven days,
if no one wants them, then they are morbidly euthanized. An inhumane,
bittersweet luxury of a quick escape from this protracted nightmare we
unfortunately cannot receive. For we “phantom souls” must endure the
pain of life without parole sentences, with no rehabilitation or
educational reform available, just left to rot inside supermax prisons.
Everyone
eventually leaves your side—friends, siblings, parents, relatives, your
spouse and, lastly, your own children leave you to stand utterly alone.
Everyone scatters away from our lives like cockroaches scatter when the
lights turn on. No more visits, no more collect calls accepted, no more
photos, no more letters and no more outside financial assistance to
purchase the bare necessities that are hard to come by in here. No
more—nothing! That’s it! You are officially cut off from the very
essential things that were giving your “phantom soul” the slightest hope
by having to endure Hell itself, just to try to get back to its body,
back to life and back to love.
This
is when mental illness, violence, murder and the suicide rate in
correctional facilities and their draconian supermax prisons drastically
increases. Because a “phantom soul” with no help, no education, no
vocational training and no proper rehabilitation, for the vast majority,
with nothing to lose and no hope for the future, is better off dead.
Actually, that is what a “phantom soul” truly is. For we are dead men
walking. It’s a bone-chilling feeling to realize that.
Now,
as a “phantom soul” loses itself completely, it then attaches itself to
the prison atmosphere: its lifestyle, culture and methods of mere
survival, like a leech to your inviting flesh, thirsty for your blood.
It is nothing nice or positive at all! For we do not live in here, we
must strive daily to survive in a cold isolated world full of pain,
loneliness, anger, confusion and hate. It’s a menagerie where big dog
eats little dog. Kill or be killed. Human snakes of all shapes and sizes
roam this place with two faces, menacing glares and evil agendas,
having to resort to convict criminal ingenuity to get by and survive.
“Phantom souls” must condition themselves to be alert and ready at any
moment for the instant danger reveals itself and chaos erupts.
For
many, pride is sealed by tattoos. For others they are shields, for they
shield many from exposing their true selves. Respect, acceptance,
loyalty, acknowledgement, reputation, honor and authority are earned by
the degree of corrupt mercilessness and violent deeds of ruthlessness
against any other prisoner who violates convict code of ethics and
by-laws: violence against rival gangs, racial enemies and against the
guards. We cannot forget the guards. For they are the most ruthless,
deceitful, dangerous, conniving, lying and cheating gang in the prison.
For seven times out of ten, if a prisoner is assaulted, marked for
death, unjustly persecuted, punished or even killed, a guard one way or
another had his hand in the treachery. Sad but true.
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