Humor.......

An 80-year old man goes for a physical. All of his tests come back with normal results.

The doctor says, ' George, everything looks great. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with God? '

George replies, ' God and I are tight. He knows I have poor eyesight, so he's fixed it so when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, poof! The light goes on. When I'm done, poof! The light goes off. '

' Wow, that's incredible, ' the doctor says.

A little later in the day, after thinking at length over George's extraordinary explanation,  the doctor calls George's wife.

' Ethel, ' he says, ' George is doing fine! But I had to call you because I'm in awe of his relationship with God. Is it true that he gets up during the night and poof!

The light goes on in the bathroom, and when he's done, poof! The light goes off? '

' Oh my God! ' Ethel exclaims. ' He's pissing in the fridge again. 
     __________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _

 Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends.
    You order what you want, then when you see what the other person has, you wish  you had ordered that.
    __________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _
    Man: Is there any way for long life?
    Dr: Get married.
    Man: Will it help?
    Dr: No, but the thought of long life will never come.
    __________ _________ _________ _________ _________
    Why do couples hold hands during their wedding?
    It's a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight
    begins
    _________ _________ _________ _________ _________
    Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?
    Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.
    __________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _
    It's funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged.
    It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered.
    __________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _
    It is difficult to understand GOD. He makes such beautiful things as
    women and then he turns them into Wives !
         __________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _
    A man, who surrenders when he's wrong, is Honest. A man who
    surrenders when not Sure, is Wise. A man who surrenders even if he's Right, is a Husband.
    __________ _________ _________ _________ _________ __
    Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about
    something you say. After marriage, he'll fall asleep before you finish.
    __________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _
    There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic
    banking. It's called marriage.
    __________ _________ _________ _________ _________
    There is only one perfect child in the world and every mother has it.
    There is only one perfect wife in the world and every neighbor has it
    __________ _________ _________ _________ _________
    Man receives telegram: Wife dead-should be buried or cremated?
    Man: Don't take any chances. Burn the body and bury the ash.