Lots
of you continue to get unhinged emails from people on Facebook, your
drunk uncle, and various Tea Party relatives. Here's a gentle response
to them....
Pretty
soon Obama will be gone and you will have to face up to the fact that
you will have lost a whole decade of your life passing around conspiracy
theories and whipping yourself into a frenzy of
hatred. All of you lost friends, severed relationships with family
members, and some of you even lost your job or your marriage due to your
unhinged behavior.
You
lost that decade wailing about Obama the gay Communist Muslim
narcissist dictator who was going to let the UN invade America and
various hoaxes like "death panels," birth certificates, and the "Ground
Zero Mosque" (remember how you wasted two years of your life over
that?). Just think of what you could have accomplished if you hadn't
wasted all that time. You could have gotten a college degree, you could
have written a book, you could have run your first marathon, you could
have built a boat and sailed it around the world. You could learned to
speak another language - oh wait, you never would have
done that.
You
kept waiting for Obama to be impeached or for the GOP candidates to
"take off the gloves." But they never did because your favorite stories
were hoaxes, and the GOP can't impeach or win the White House based on
hoaxes. No doubt you were waiting for someone, anyone, in the White
House to be indicted or arrested, like all those people under Nixon and
Reagan and Bush, but no dice.
Many
of you will never recover from this experience. Physically, your
health is no doubt worse for having lost a decade watching television
and whipping yourself into a frenzy of
hatred. Your ability to reason is probably permanently damaged, and
nobody really wants to listen to your opinions anyway. Yes, you can
successfully annoy the waitress at the diner, because she can't run away
from a customer, but that doesn't mean she agrees with you. Some of you
will be going into nursing homes because people gave up on you a long
time ago and nobody can stand to listen to one more day of you babbling
about Saul Alinsky (who died in 1972, by the way).
Some
of you have no doubt suffered financially from all the time you wasted
hating Obama. But some of you have actually done very very well under
his "anticapitalist," "communist," "dictatorship." You do know that the
economy usually does much better under Democrats, right? And that the
best four years of
job creation in the last 50 years was under Jimmy Carter, right?
The
next two years would be a good chance to start making amends to your
families and trying to rebuild relations with people in your life. Yes
we know there's another election in 2016 and you'll be falling down the
next rabbit hole of insanity, but try to leave your families with a few
memories of you acting like a normal human being.
And
the next time there is a GOP president, just remember that there will
be fatal embassy attacks under the GOP president, just like the dozens
of fatal embassy attacks that occurred under
previous Republican presidents. Except Democrats won't be working
themselves into a frenzy of conspiracy theories when it happens, they
won't be cheerleading for the terrorists, and they won't be trying to
overthrow the US government every time something happens.
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