Late Night Jokes of the Week

Late Night Jokes of the Week

The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon

• A new Election Commission report just came out saying that the Trump campaign isn't doing so well financially, and is practically broke. It's not good — in fact today, Trump stole a bunch of towels from his own hotel.
• The report revealed that Donald Trump's campaign started this month with only $1.3 million, which is almost $8 million less than Bernie Sanders’ campaign. Even Bernie was like, “How does it feel to be poor, you LOSER!”
• President Obama will be attending the Global Entrepreneurship Summit in California. The only place to see more people describing themselves as “entrepreneurs” is on “The Bachelorette.”
• It's being reported that LeBron James' 11-year-old son already has basketball scholarship offers from Duke and Kentucky. After hearing this, LeBron was like, “So I can stop saving for his college? Phew.”
• Seventy-two new emojis came out today, and I saw that one of the new emojis is a pregnant woman. Apparently it’s the emoji you get nine months after texting, “You up?”