How to Defend Yourself Against a Gay Basher

April 17, 2014

Posted by Colton Black

Self-Defense Tactics

I am going to share a story with you about a buddy of mine named Blake who successfully defended himself against a gay bashing street thug. This incident happened in Milwaukee, Wisconsin and involved an attacker who thought Blake was going to be an easy target. He thought wrong.
My hope is by sharing his story, you will be armed with useful knowledge for the future. I will highlight a few self-defense tips, some used by Blake, which he believes very much saved his life. 
I know there are many readers of this blog who at some point in life have experienced a gay bashing bully. More mature readers of this site likely know of at least one person who has been the victim of anti-gay violence with a bad ending.  

Here is the deal – almost all of the information on the Internet about gay bashing is focused on victim aftermath with little to no information published on how a gay dude can defend himself and survive an attack, should the need arise. And it is for this reason I am publishing this post. To help you become self-empowered and to avoid ever becoming a statistic.
I want to preface everything here by saying I do not condone the use of violence and strongly discourage physical engagement with a basher if humanly possible. I am also not encouraging vigilantism.
With that out of the way, let’s move on to Blake’s story and then move about the business of imparting some self-defense tips.

Blake’s Background

My buddy Blake is 33-years old. He has a small, muscular build and would be classified as an ectomorph. He is probably 5’7 in height and maybe 150 pounds. I’ve known Blake for a number years because we are lifting buddies at the gym.

Blake and the Gay Basher

Anyway – a few weeks ago on a Saturday night, Blake was out at a local gay bar in Milwaukee, hanging out with friends and having a good time. He had one drink that evening and bottled water for the remainder. The guy has never really never been one to drink.
At some point, Blake decided it was getting late and figured it was a time to go home. As he left the bar and walked down a darkened street to hail a cab, a street thug who was much bigger than my buddy (6 FT 1) saw him coming out of the bar. The thug walked up to Blake and called him the proverbial “F” word. Near as I can tell, this gay basher positioned himself in a way that caused my friend to be “pinned up” against a brick house that lined the street.
The gay-basher demanded money from Blake and used a lot of intimidation tactics in the process. Here, I am talking about pointing fingers, getting into Blake’s face and getting super loud. “I’m gonna kick me some faggot ass tonight”, said the basher to Blake as he recounted his story to me.  The thug also demanded Blake’s wallet. 

Blake Fought Back

Remember, Blake was pinned up against the side of a brick house. The basher was right in his face, bent over a bit and essentially eye-ball to eye ball with my buddy. This made it very difficult for Blake try and get away.  
At some point, Blake pretended to reach for his wallet with his right hand and as he reached backwards, he balled his hand up into a fist tight. He then used a quick, upward thrust with that same right hand to the basher’s nuts. Blake then used his left elbow and quickly jabbed the basher’s face, using the radius of his arm to the thug’s nose. Finally, Blake then pushed the guy away and ran like hell down the street to a nearby 24-hour market to call the cops.
Blake, thankfully, was able to successfully save himself from almost certain violence and in the process, rescued himself for a very scary situation. I am going to recap with you some essential things my buddy did to get himself out of a jam for you to consider in the future. Before sharing however, it is important that I impart the following to you: 

Goal Should Be Non-Engagement

The best survival tip I can give you is to avoid physical engagement in the first place. This means that if you notice someone following that is suspicious or if that little voice inside you is telling you something dangerous is going on, listen to that voice. As human beings, we are all programmed with a flight or fight response. Pay attention to that voice and do not ignore it.
Examples:  if you see a guy down the street coming in your direction that is causing your inner-alarm to go off, cross the street. If you need to hail a cab and notice there are some scary people hanging around, wait a bit or catch a ride with a friend. If a gay basher is getting in your face and you can make a run for it – run!
Again, the goal is to not engage in physical confrontation. The smartest “fight” you will ever be in is the one you avoid. Obviously, being aware of your immediate surroundings is key. But this article is not about prevention – it is about self-defense against a gay basher. 

Self-Defense Basics

What follows are a few tips that you can tuck away in case you are ever in a situation where you about to get gay-bashed, robbed or physically assaulted. Again – and I cannot emphasize this enough, getting away is the goal and not engagement.
I am just offering a few tips here but it is on you to learn more about self-defense. There are tons of videos available on Youtube on this topic. Every gay man should take a self-defense class.
At the end of this article, I will provide some resources for you to check out.

Disable and Escape

If you cannot avoid a physical confrontation, your goal should always be to disable the attacker and escape. You are not getting into a “fight”. Again, the keyword here is DISABLE. You want to disable the basher for a second or two in a way that gives you that brief, critical window of opportunity to run.
Let’s go through some self-defense basics.  All of what follows here is designed to help you target your attacker’s vulnerable areas. 

Get Loud and Push Back

As soon as a bashing thug touches your body or it becomes obvious that escape isn’t possible, shout with a loud, powerful voice (“BACK THE FUCK OFF!”) and push your attacker away.
This does two things: it signals the need for help to anyone with earshot and it tells your attacker you are no easy target. I am not saying this is a fool-proof approach but it can be an effective tactic. If you are able to push him back and create enough space to make a run for it – do it!

Have you ever been gay-bashed?

• Yes - I was beat up
• Yes - I got away
• No - Never

View Results

Nuts are Fair Game

Dudes, I am telling you straight up that if you are in a situation like Blake’s, you need to be OK with street-fighting tactics. Being civil just isn’t going to cut it. That means remembering that the nuts are fair game! There are two approaches you can use.

1. Palm to Nuts

If you are pinned up against a wall or if the basher has you positioned in a way that escape is not possible, you will need to use whatever tactics are necessary to disable the basher and run. One way to do this is to ball your hand up in a fist (discretely) and use a quick upward motion with your palm facing upward to the attacker’s nuts. With all your power, thrust that balled fist upward and mess up his balls.

1. Knee to Nuts

The other approach you can take here is to use tremendous power of your knee to disable your attacker. Using a rapid, upward movement, take your right or left knee and land a massive upward blow to your basher’s nuts. You are not kicking here or trying to get all karate. What you are trying to do is inflict a massive, temporarily debilitating amount of pain to his gonads just long enough for you to run. 

Poke His Eyes

One other approach for you to consider is poking one of his eyes. If done correctly, you will temporarily blind your basher just long enough to run. This approach is a little risky because there is always the chance your attacker will grab your arm, countering your move.
If you want poke one of his eyes, press your thumb against your index and middle finger and push upward, delivering a fast jab to his eye-socket. This painful approach can be very effective in giving you that split second to jet-away. Eye gouging can also be an effective approach. 

Palm to His Nose

If there is enough space to allow for this tactic, you can use the heel of your palm to his nose in an upward, swift motion. Use the entire weight of your body to cause the most pain.
If your attacker is behind you, you can crack his nose (from the side or front) with your elbow. Aim hard for his nasal bones. If you are not able to reach his nose, aim for your attacker’s throat. Again, the goal here is to disable and escape. 

Final Thoughts

The self-defense tactics shared here are just but a few and are designed to give you some very basic approaches for dealing with a gay-basher or thug. Blake was lucky enough to use a few of these kinds of methods to save his life.
For “Blake” story, there are a hundred more unfortunate ones of gay men who have become a

Patrick Blackburn – Gay Bashed

hate crime statistic, replete with photographs of bloody, bruised faces and broken teeth. And sadly, there are some who are no longer with us because they were flat out killed by some gay-hating scum-bag. Let’s keep it real – the world is still a dangerous place for a lot of gay people.  
Please, avoid situations that may cause you to be vulnerable to an attack. Listen to that inner voice in side and run like hell if you fear something is about to happen. But if you are ever in a situation where you must engage in something physical, remember the key word I have repeated here repeated over and over – disable. Because I realize what you have read here just offers a few essentials, I am including a self-defense video at the end of this post for you check-out.
You’ll probably easily find self-defense classes at martial arts centers, but other resources to look into include local colleges or community colleges, community centers, C.O.B.R.A. Self-Defense classes and Self-Defense DVDs
If you know of any other good self-defense tips, techniques, or resources, please share them with us in the comments.
I encourage every gay man who reads this article to share it with their friends. Let’s tell the story of Blake and become aware of basic self-defense tactics. Please Like GML on Facebook or join the GML Circle on Google +.
Thanks for reading.