ARIZONA CONFRONTING AWKWARD REALIZATION THAT GAY PEOPLE HAVE MONEY, BUY STUFF
POSTED BY ANDY BOROWITZ
PHOENIX (The Borowitz Report)—The
state of Arizona found itself in the middle of a conundrum today as it
awoke to the awkward realization that gay people have money and buy
stuff.
Just days after the Arizona
legislature passed a law that would enable businesses to discriminate
against gays, it emerged that gays spend billions of dollars in Arizona
each year—an unexpected development that seemed to take many legislators
by surprise.
Carol
Foyler, a Tea Party Republican who supported the anti-gay law, said
that the startling bombshell that gays play a role in the state’s
economy put her and her fellow lawmakers “in a tight spot.”
“Quite
frankly, we were blindsided by this,” she said. “We had no idea that
gays had money and bought things just like regular people do.”
Acknowledging
that her vote for the anti-gay law might have been calamitous for the
state’s economy, Ms. Foyler placed the blame for it squarely on the
shoulders of one group: the gays themselves.
“How
was I supposed to know what gay people do with their money, etc., when I
don’t personally know any gay people?” she asked. “I’m sorry, but it
was up to the gays to tell us.”
Above: Arizona Governor Jan Brewer. Photograph by Bebeto Matthews/AP.
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